Confusion Meets Clarity
by FluffyShrekGirl
Summary: A confused Ken visits his brother's grave, hoping to find some answers. What he realises isn't quite what he expected. I know it's late, but happy Valentine's Day my internet was down!


Confusion Meets Clarity

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Digimon, any of the characters in this fic, or the song used here – it's 'My Funny Friend and Me' from the Disney film The Emperor's New Groove. Interestingly, the lyrics are by Sting. Much of the dialogue, particularly in bold, is from the series. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the fic! I've never written one centred around Ken before, so feedback would be greatly appreciated

Ken sat at the side of his brother's grave, staring at the engraved letters. He wasn't seeing them, though. His thoughts were elsewhere, and for once they weren't wholly on his brother.

He wanted Sam's advice. He didn't think his brother would know exactly what he was going through, but surely he must have had some idea…

_Onii-chan… _

_In the quiet time of evening_

_When the stars assume their patterns_

_And the day has made his journey_

The stars were beginning to come out. Ken flopped onto his back in the wet grass by the grave and stared up at the constellations. Lying there, he let his thoughts drift. _I need your help… but… you can't help me, can you?_

He clenched some grass in his fist, fighting this revelation, but he knew in his heart that he had to accept it, and, reluctantly, he did so, slowly relaxing his grip and letting the blades of grass fall to the ground. He pushed himself up and stood quickly, then, after inclining his head respectfully to his brother's grave, he walked slowly from the graveyard and into the street, deep in thought. His thoughts were no longer with his brother. They were back in the past.

**He looked like Sam.**

**That was the first thought that entered his head as he looked down at his new image. His hair, his glasses… it felt good. There was an ache in his heart where Sam belonged, but looking like this… it seemed to ease it. His life had changed. He was no longer the child who needed protecting, no longer the pathetic baby whose only skill was blowing bubbles. Gentle… no longer. **

"**This world is mine now."**

_And we wonder just what happened to the life we knew_

_Before the world changed_

_When not a thing I held was true._

And his world had changed again. The Digimon Emperor was no more, and now in spite of the crushing guilt he felt… accepted. He finally had some people who actually cared for him. TK, Kari, Cody, Yolei… Davis.

They had all hated him at first, if indeed they were all capable of hate – Ken could hardly imagine Kari hating someone. But she had thought him cruel. TK had confronted him in his own base, bringing with him the revelation: _I guess I'm not as cool as I think I am. _Yolei had been furious with him for treating the digimon and the digital world the way he had. Cody… he wasn't sure if Cody had even forgiven him now. Davis had been angry at first, but it had seemed… Davis seemed to understand. Ken almost laughed. He wouldn't have classed Davis as the perceptive type. He supposed it was just because he knew when to follow his gut instinct, though why his instincts had told him that Ken was all right, Ken had no idea.

_But you were kind to me_

_And you reminded me_

_That the world is not my playground;_

_There are other things that matter_

_What is simple needs protecting_

"**What? Reset the digital world? What are you talking about, Ken?"**

**TK's voice invaded his thoughts, and it was filled with confusion.**

"**It's simple," he replied. "I'll just go home and delete all the digital world data of my computer and create a new programme. That way I can create a new digital world – one that doesn't cheat."**

"**Dude."**

**He heard Davis step closer to him.**

"**You can't be serious."**

"**The digital world is a completely real place, Ken!" Yolei cried. "It's not just something that can be programmed into your computer!"**

**TK stepped forward too. "We tried to tell you that before, but you thought we were trying to play some kind of a trick on you!"**

"**Huh…?"**

**No, that couldn't be true…**

**Cody sounded angry. "This isn't some kind of video game, Ken. Digimon are real and it's about time you realised what you've been doing."**

**He turned to face them for the first time since Kimeramon was destroyed. "What?"**

"**You've been hurting innocent creatures, Ken." Kari didn't sound angry. She sounded… sympathetic. She felt for the digimon, but she also felt for him...**

**His mind froze. All he could feel was the horrifying realisation. _If this is all real, then…_**

"**The digimon were all at the soccer game in the real world. I remember now. You are real, not just computer data. I can't believe I never figured that out…"**

"**You know, for an evil genius you really are a slow learner, Ken," piped up Demiveemon from Davis' arms.**

"**And you've constantly been abusing digimon ever since you claimed to be the digimon emperor," Davis agreed.**

"**I had no idea… what have I done?"**

**Scenes replayed in his mind, horrible scenes filled with violence and pain… violence and pain that he himself had caused. The dark rings flying, capturing helpless digimon, Gizamon dragging pieces of control spire through a cruel blizzard, his serpentine ebony whip lashing… lashing…**

"**I thought my dark rings were a stroke of genius. I never realised I was causing pain! I made them work for me tirelessly, never giving them a break, and I was cruel to them beyond imagination!" At this he cried out at last, a cry of misery, fear and utter guilt. "I'm a monster! I can't believe what I've done!"**

"**Well, it's hard to argue with you there, Ken. You've done some pretty horrible stuff," TK murmured. **

"**The important thing is you've realised what you've done and it's not too late to make a fresh start," Kari said kindly.**

**He did not hear her. "What have I done?" He burst into sobs that racked his body, ripping off his gloves, his cloak, his glasses… even his hair returned to normal. No longer the Digimon Emperor, just a boy appalled by himself and the atrocities he had committed, sobbing and tearful on the sand.**

_My illusions all would shatter_

_But you stayed in my corner_

_The only world I knew was upside-down_

_And now the world and me_

_Will know you carried me_

_You see the patterns in the big sky_

_Those constellations look like you and I_

Ken looked upwards as he walked, seeing before him the stars sparkling in the night sky, like tiny bubbles floating far away. The constellations were all there – the Pleiades, the Plough, Virgo, Ursa Major… he loved to look at them now. He had scorned them before, but now he appreciated the simple beauty and peace that they radiated.

He loved to see the stars of the digital world too, because they were so different to what he was used to. There wasn't a bear, or a swan, or any of the others… there were angels, and swords, and even landscapes… and somewhere, a small grouping of stars that looked like two people with their arms round one another.

"**Ken?"**

**He turned to see Davis wandering towards him, rubbing his eyes.**

"**What are you doing still up? It's past midnight!"**

"**I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep." He didn't take his eyes off the stars.**

**Davis came to his side, and said:**

"**Are you worried about Arukenimon and Mummymon?"**

"**I… guess that's it." Honestly, he didn't want to sleep because of the nightmares. Nightmares about a boy with an ebony-coloured whip.**

"**We'll beat 'em, Ken. We're the digidestined, it's what we do."**

"**Hm."**

**Davis crossed his hands behind his head and looked up. "You like the stars?"**

"**They're just so… calming, I suppose."**

"**Yeah, I know what you mean. You know the constellations?"**

"**Yes, but they're all different here."**

"**Huh." Davis scanned the sky, and then grabbed his arm. "Hey, look."**

"**What is it?"**

"**Check that one out."**

**He followed the pointing finger and saw a small cluster of stars. "What about it?"**

"**Don't you think…" Davis suddenly seemed embarrassed, but he continued. "Well, it sorta looks like… well, two people. Don't you think?"**

**He looked again. Davis was right. It looked like two people with their arms around one another's shoulders. He paused, and glanced at Davis, whose gaze was now fixed firmly on the stars, a hint of redness on his cheeks. He wondered if he was the only one who thought that one of the people seemed to have spiky hair, and the other to have a straight bob.**

_We could be lost_

_We could refuse to try_

_But to have made it through in the dark night_

_Who would those lucky guys turn out to be_

_But that unusual blend_

_Of my funny friend and me?_

_I'm not as clever as I thought I was_

_I'm not the boy I used to be_

_Because you showed me something different_

_You showed me something pure_

_I always seemed so certain_

_But I was really never sure_

_But you stayed_

_And you called my name_

_When others would have walked out on a lousy game_

It had all started the day he had done badly on the maths test…

**He walked alone, thoughts drifting through his mind. He was slipping, no longer the 'boy genius' that everyone had dubbed him. He just… didn't care any more. _They're right, I have given up. I can't focus any more. I've got a lot on my mind. No-one understands…_**

"**Ken!"**

"**Huh?" He looked up at the sound of a friendly voice and was shocked to see Davis walking towards him, a smile on his face. Why was he here?**

"**Hey!"**

**They ended up by the river, just next to the bridge that crossed it. He picked up a stone and weighed it in his hand. He could feel Davis' gaze on him, but he wasn't quite sure how to react. What did Davis want from him?**

**Abruptly, he threw the stone, causing big ripples to spread out across the water. As he threw, he spoke. "So what brings you all the way out here? Did you come to remind me that I've been a bad boy?" Couldn't they just leave him alone now?**

"**C'mon, Ken. You've done some pretty rotten things but you're not an evil person."**

**He was surprised at this analogy. "I'm not?"**

"**No. The person who designed the school's lunch menu? Now _that's_ an evil person."**

**Davis laughed at his own joke, but he didn't respond to it.**

"**That was a joke, Ken."**

"**Sorry. I haven't been in a laughing mood lately."**

"**That's OK," Davis replied readily. He paused, and then said: "Look, I have an idea. Why don't you come with me? You can meet my friends and tell them you're sorry."**

**He was taken aback. "But why? They hate me."**

"**They don't hate you, Ken. They just don't understand you. _I _know you're sorry for what you've done, but they don't."**

**He laughed mirthlessly. "What makes you so special?"**

"**I never said I was special. I just think you're better than you're giving yourself credit for."**

**He looked down at his distorted reflection. "I'm not sure…"**

"**Look, the digital world's been pretty freaky lately. We need your help. After all, you're one of us digidestined!"**

"**Huh?"**

**He looked up in astonishment. "Me? A digidestined?"**

"**That's right." Davis grinned at him. "Just one big happy family!"**

"**I… don't know."**

**He turned away from Davis.**

"**Thanks, Davis. I appreciate you being honest with me but it just won't work. I can't join you."**

"**What? What do you mean?" He could hear the stunned tone of the boy's voice, and sighed. Davis was so naïve.**

"**I just can't. Sorry."**

**Why did he care? Out of all the people in the world, why was it only him who seemed to understand?**

_And look who made it through_

_But your funny friend and you_

_You see the patterns in the big sky_

_Those constellations look like you and I_

_That tiny planet and the bigger guy_

_I don't know whether I should laugh or cry_

As he neared his destination, Ken crossed the river, and froze suddenly. He knew now, seeing the place where Davis had first asked him to join them all those weeks ago. He understood. And, quite strangely for him, Ken burst out laughing. Leaning against the edge of the bridge, he laughed and laughed, until he felt the tears prick the corners of his eyes. A man walking his dog reached the bridge, and hurriedly skirted to the other side, avoiding the madman laughing himself stupid. Ken could just see tomorrow's headlines: _Boy genius finally cracks! _But he didn't care.

_Just like the patterns in the big sky_

_We'll be together 'til the end this time_

_Don't know the answer or the reason why_

_We'll stick together 'til the day we die_

Ken stepped up to the door and rang the bell. He realised as he waited there that he was nervous. His heart was thudding and his breath was getting quicker. He fought it, willing his breath to slow before –

"Oh! Hey, Ken."

_If I have to do this all a second time_

_I won't complain or make a fuss_

_Who would the angels send_

_But that unlikely blend_

_Of these two funny friends?_

"I hope I'm not intruding," Ken murmured.

"No… no, not at all," Davis replied, looking at his guest in surprise. "Uh, come in."

Ken stepped inside, and smiled. Jun had obviously been busy, because there were pink and red hearts everywhere. As they entered the kitchen, Jun herself popped up from the sofa, beaming and clutching yet another string of hearts. "Oh, hi, Ken!" she trilled. "Happy Valentine's Day!"

Ken returned the grin. "Hi, Jun. Happy Valentine's Day."

There was a muffled groan from the couch, and Jun glanced back. "We have visitors! Come on, be polite!"

Spiky blond hair and dark blue eyes appeared above the back of the sofa. "Hey, Ken," they mumbled.

Ken gaped, and, trying very hard not to laugh, managed a, "Hey, Matt."

Davis rolled his eyes. "C'mon, let's go."

As he followed Davis, Ken glanced back at Matt, who mouthed '_Help me_'. That was too much, and laughing, Ken carried on, ignoring Matt's pleading eyes. _Sorry, Matt I have problems of my own tonight._

They went into Davis' room.

Davis stretched. "That's better. I never get a moment's peace with her around!"

Ken chuckled. "How did Matt get roped into helping Jun?"

"I have no idea! I got home from school and here he was!"

The two of them laughed, sharing the joke, and then Ken said:

"You're not doing anything tonight?"

"Nah… well, Kari's out with T.S. …"

"Oh. I see."

"No… I don't really care."

Ken looked up sharply. He sounded serious, not like he was trying to convince himself.

"Well, I, uh… I was gonna send her this." Davis held up a huge flamboyant card, with the words 'Be mine!' on in garish lettering. "But, uh, I was writing it, and then I just thought… I just… I realised I don't care any more." He met Ken's gaze. His face was red.

Ken shrugged, looked down, and said, as nonchalantly as possible, "Well, I'm free tonight, and the others are all busy… would you like to rent a movie or something? After all, we don't have dates… we have nothing better to do… I mean…"

"Yeah. Let's."

Their eyes met, as did their smiles.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Davis."

"Yeah. Happy Valentine's Day, Ken."

_That's us._

A/N: I don't know if they celebrate Val's day in Japan, but what the heck. I took the title from the blurb of 'Boy Meets Boy' by David Levithan, because it seemed perfect.


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